From “Mary Courage & Her Children”
Mary Courage asks her old friend Sen. Crony for a favor, and he laments the condition of Mary’s son, Veggie,who just returned from fighting in the Middle East. Seems he came back with a bad case of brain dead.
MARY COURAGE
Oh, Senator Crony. Can I see you?
CRONY
What can I do for you, Mary?
MARY COURAGE
Would you mind if I took Neppo off your hands?
CRONY
Giving you your son back is the least I can do for you, Mary.
(CRONY hands NEPPO’s leash to MARY COURAGE.)
MARY COURAGE
I appreciate you taking him in, especially since he’s incredibly stupid.
CRONY
Well, while it’s true that that boy is dumb, even by Washington’s standards–
NEPPO
Thank you, sir!
CRONY
He is a good worker, very loyal.
(NEPPO, now in MARY COURAGE’s possession, tries to hug his mother, who recoils and makes sounds to let him know that the embrace is not welcome)
NEPPO
My mom here always said that’s how I would make it through life without being locked in a trunk in some sadomasochist’s basement: loyalty, hard work and . . .
MARY COURAGE
Blistered hands.
NEPPO
Yeah, that’s it.
MARY COURAGE
Well, at least this one would listen to me.
CRONY
Yes, I was sorry to hear about what happened to Veggie.
MARY COURAGE
No need to be sad. Veggie’s back here, safe with us.
NEPPO
I hope to be as brave as my brother someday.
MARY COURAGE
No, you don’t. There’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity, Neppo. That line is drawn in the sand, and every time the wind picks up, you never know which side you’re on. It can make a brave man look awfully stupid. You don’t need to be shot for your stupidity; you should get paid for it here in Washington.
NEPPO
Staying stupid makes you smart?
MARY COURAGE
You better believe it.
NEPPO
But it doesn’t make you brave.
MARY COURAGE
You talk about it like it has value, but you don’t know what it costs.
NEPPO
But I want to defend freedom, like Veggie.
MARY COURAGE
You can’t. You’re a homosexual.
NEPPO
I am?
MARY COURAGE
You are.
NEPPO
Did I know that?
MARY COURAGE
Probably.
